Issue #134—June 18, 2021
It’s a sunny, almost cool Spring-like day here where I am–so I’ve got my office window open. And something seems a bit off.
It’s actually quiet and peaceful outside. Something is missing.
Oh, now I know what it is…
No cicadas!
That constant hum, which at times had escalated to a very loud buzzing, is gone.
Their once-every-17 years “love fest” is OVER…sure hope it was worth the wait!
No wonder I’ve been able to concentrate so well this morning, without the distracting noise in the background (the large mugs of coffee help, too).
And I’ve got some great insights in store for you as a result…along with a “What’s in Kim’s Mailbox” looking at a few of my own controls as teaching examples.
Plus (don’t miss this in the P.S.), I’ve got a $10 sale on my individual promo swipes… which I’ll no longer be selling after this Sunday. Even better, you can get my “Buy ’em All” Complete KKS Promo Swipe File at a steal of a deal price until then, too.
So let’s get rolling…
What is it that all successful controls have in common?
(And by “controls”, I mean long-form promos like sales pages or direct mail magalogs that are proven performers for acquiring new paying customers…)
Well, I can’t say I’ve arrived at this conclusion as a result of any scientific analysis.
But, when I look at my dozens of successful controls–as well as the hundreds of swipes of other control promos that I keep filed away on my computer, file drawers, and in piles around my office…
There seems to be a common factor.
It’s something that’s seamlessly woven into the promo from the time you read the main headline (or even before that in whatever ad or email is driving traffic to it)…
Until the product or whatever you’re selling is actually revealed (I talked about that in Wednesday’s email, which you can read and comment on in a post here).
What is this common factor?
They tell a story.
It could be part of the lead and designed to hook you in immediately (ideally with an opening sentence that puts you in the middle of the scene…)
Or it could be something that educates the prospect about a hidden problem or cause.
For the latter scenario, it comes a little later (after hinting early on that it’s coming), often after using empathy copy as a way in.
We’ll look at a few examples in a moment.
Whenever you write copy, it’s important to remember that the human brain is wired for stories. So they’re a great way to hook your prospect into reading your promo.
But it’s not always the traditional emotional story or dramatic flashing lights-and-sirens stories that do this. It’s also promising to revealing a hidden cause, a better way to solve a problem, or other solution for something your prospect wants to fix.
You want your copy to convey early on that they’re going to learn something that’s useful for them…that they’ll be better off for having read it, or at least entertained.
So it’s important to “sell” them on readership via the hook in your main headline, the opening section of your copy, and in whatever email or ad is driving traffic.
Have a common messaging thread that can stand out and compete with all the other “noise” that it’s up against.
Let’s look at a couple of examples…
What’s in Kim’s Mailbox?
This memory supplement sales page ran as a control for a few years (this is a screenshot of the page before it went live, hence the stock photo text overlays on the pictures).
I wanted to lead with a story that dramatized the prospect’s worst fear: getting Alzheimer’s, losing their mental abilities…and not being able to recognize their loved ones.
Through my research, I found a dramatic story in a medical text book on Google Books. This is an actual patient story who had a substance dripped into her brain–and it had a dramatic effect…
Notice the pacing of the story, how I bring in what the husband was feeling, but don’t wait too long to transition to giving hope. I also mention that the solution is based on a Nobel Prize-winning discovery in order to borrow that prestigious credibility.
What I also needed this story to do was tie in some way with the product and its unique mechanism. That tie-in was “nerve growth factor”, which I was able to connect via my research to one of the nutrients in the formula.
So it not only was the fact that there was an emotionally-gripping story in the lead that helped make this promo work, it was the way I demonstrated the effectiveness of the solution before I even presented it.
Now let’s look at an example for when you use a story to educate your prospect about a hidden cause or new, better way of solving a stubborn problem.
This next promo for a digestive supplement is one I wrote over 10 years ago, and it’s still running as a successful control as an online sales page and as a direct mail magalog.
At the time I wrote it, probiotic supplement promos were just about everywhere…and almost seemed as if they were in a race to the bottom in terms of their “grossness” factor.
So I decided to take a different tact–and it worked! Take a look at the headline and lead…
Notice how I use empathy copy in the opening paragraphs as a way in. This not only signals that “this is for me” (them), it immediately conveys that I understand the prospect’s problem and their frustration with being unable to solve it.
Which is the perfect segue to the story I’m about to tell: educating them about an ancient Chinese remedy that can finally solve their digestive problems once and for all.
I also introduce who’s speaking (the doctor/spokesperson behind the product) early on, as it gives more heft and belief to what she’s saying as an expert who treats patients with these problems successfully.
This kind of credibility-enhancer is even more important since it has to do with Chinese medicine, something that more skeptical prospects may see as “woo woo”.
Once you’ve gotten the prospect to read either one of the promo leads I just shared with you, you’ve successfully hooked them in.
At that point they’re gliding through the copy, expecting to learn something new about a topic they care about (a problem that’s relevant to them that they want to solve). So you want to make sure the rest of your copy delivers on that.
Make sure you can tie the product back to the story once you introduce it…that there’s no disconnect. And avoid all the other “speed bumps” that can lose your prospect:
- Not having smooth transitions between paragraphs
- Missing (or misspelled) words
- Clunky, confusing, or overly long sentences
- More than 2 or 3 sentences in a paragraph
- And other writing and grammar issues (see #4: “The Ultimate Editing Checklist” in your Ultimate A-List Copywriter’s Promo Checklist to make sure your copy is up to par before you consider it “final”!)
That’s all I’ve got for you today…be sure to check out the clearance sale in the P.S. on my full-length promo swipes! Get ’em while you can…
And remember, one of the best ways to get better at writing copy is to study successful controls!